


The Dovewing Poem!

by Duskfall_of_RiverClan



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-30 18:47:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15102758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duskfall_of_RiverClan/pseuds/Duskfall_of_RiverClan
Summary: What the title says. Well, not really. It's basically all about roasting Dovewing! XD





	The Dovewing Poem!

**Hello y'all, I was bored and decided to write something. I wrote this poem in about two hours. Dovewing is one of my least favorite characters so this is basically a whole ballad of roasts for Dovewing and her stuck-up, Mary Sue personality. If you like Dovewing, get a life and read the true story of Dovewing. If you don't like Dovewing, enjoy!  
**

**The Dovewing Poem!**

_I'm the specialest of the 3,_

_So you must, bow to me,_

_I run to my mommy when there is strife,_

_But that's not important, let's hear the story of my life!_

_When I was a kit, I told the clan_

_I smelled fire! We needed a plan_

_And that's when Lion brought our water_

_To put out the fire, before the fire could slaughter_

_Ivy and I were made apprentices_

_And that's when I knew I had nemeses_

_When I became a hero because of the drought_

_She was jealous of me and started to go all out_

_She hated and swore, went to the dark_

_And met a sexy tom, oh StarClan, it was a spark_

_In her boring, dead life, it was too good to be true_

_She didn't know the tom, she didn't have a clue_

_Really, she's stupid! She never would've known_

_That a tom died on the journey, to protect me and my home_

_She also wouldn't have known that I met my own tom_

_He's the smartest guy in the world, he's a frickin' hot bomb_

_Yeah, now back to me, I'm the best, I was busy_

_With my clan, with my training, with the whole darn prophecy!_

_Well, not really, I dragged Ivy to WindClan in the night_

_Just to see Sedge but Ivy thought we were going to get in a fight_

_But we didn't! Ha, she's wrong! I don't care we got caught_

_I was right, and she was not!_

_I saved the clan's tails, AGAIN, with that whole tree-falling craze_

_Well, I didn't save Longtail or Briarpaw, anyways_

_But then I fought against ShadowClan_

_And saw my sister receive a nod from my man_

_What the Dark Forest? How does he know her?_

_I'm jealous, since I'm the best, and she's just a burr_

_After that, I found out about Ivy's tom, and her training_

_She says she'll be a better warrior, her excuses are entertaining_

_She's training with evil cats! She's not going to be better_

_Sure, she'll try, but to honest, she will never_

_Be as good as me_

_I'm the best, clearly_

_I know that there'll be no trouble between her and Tiger_

_Cause I met up with him that night, he's a fighter_

_He's strong, and he's handsome, we agreed to meet again_

_I know I'm in love with him, he's one of the better men_

_And I also know Ivy's bitter because she tells me_

_Tiger's in her evil forest, like he'd ever be!_

_He's too kind, too nice, too fun to ever go_

_To that smelly little forest, but if he did, I would know_

_The next night, I met him again_

_And he told me about the med cat, he's sick in his den_

_With greencough! I told him about our catmint_

_But then Ivy found us, she didn't give a hint_

_Of what she was up to, that sneaky she-cat!_

_She's my sister, she can trust me, no clue why she didn't do that_

_ShadowClan captured her while I was safe under a bush_

_And they will only give her back if we give them the catmint, StarClan knows they can push!_

_I knew Tiger was bad, I was just playing along_

_So I could see what he was up to, he's just very strong_

_I pretended to be in love with him so I could get all the info_

_He's honestly just horrible, worse than a slippery minnow_

_I got my warrior name, now I'm called Dovewing  
_

_I saved Ice during my assessment, I'm better than anything_

_I'm gonna get a new mate, because Bumble is nice_

_But then Tiger says he loves me, ugh, he's worse than lice!_

_I hate him so much, so I'm glad when I leave_

_To go to the mountains with Jay, Squirrel, and Foxleap_

_But then Swoop of Chestnut Hawk is carried off by an eagle_

_That's gotta be illegal_

_I have nightmares for a moon, and plus my powers are gone!_

_Oh no, I'm 'normal', let me kill myself at the dawn!_

_But I learn Bumble likes me, oh he's great_

_Until Blossom sticks her muzzle in, she's now filled with hate_

_But I uncover my feelings for Tiger, stronger than before_

_I know I love him more than Bumble, I need to get to him, I need more_

_But then that no good Sol_

_Is being a horrible mole_

_For WindClan, they just want a fight_

_Ivy and I hear him in the tunnels, but then we don't have a sight_

_Of the light from above, we're lost, when Holly_

_Guides us back to the top, I couldn't have been more jolly_

_But Lion and Jay seem to have different views  
_

_Jay doesn't want Holly but Lion will refuse_

_To send her back to the tunnels, he loves her_

_Why is this so confusing? Holly's sturdier than a fir_

_Like during the battle with WindClan and the traitor Sol_

_She put his claws to his throat and tells him to roll_

_She won't hesitate to kill him if he shows up again_

_I get bad feelings from him, I can't wait for him to be dead_

_Ivy's getting moody, I think she likes her forest_

_Maybe she wants to stay, I can tell she's the sorest_

_She's learning new fighting moves, waking up with a bloody pelt_

_To me, she's a traitor, to others, she's a heart-melt_

_Especially to that sexy, dark tom, with those eyes that are ice blue_

_She seems to like him so much, I have the feeling they want to screw_

_After that Jay tells that there's a fourth_

_I'm so mad, why does StarClan have to put forth_

_Another cat? She might be better than me_

_Jay thinks of Moth but Lion thinks it's Holly_

_I think it's Ivy, but I don't want it to be true_

_Ivy will try to be better than me, and definitely make a fool_

_Of herself! I can't stand to have a sister as stupid as her_

_So I'm not telling, but I'm hoping that she won't be a saboteur_

_Then Tiger finds me, tells me to meet him at the border_

_I reluctantly agree, but inside, my heart's out of order_

_I want to meet him again, I missed him so much,_

_That night I'm really in a rush_

_I meet him up and we race together_

_In those past few days, I had never felt better_

_I suggest he come to ThunderClan and we have kits_

_But Tiger is reluctant, and settles for a kiss_

_When we go to the Gathering, I snap at Bumble_

_Later I apologize but with a rumble_

_He rejects me, I'm not used to that_

_My heart is torn in two, I wish he'd go splat_

_No one rejects the best of the best_

_And gets away with it, until they become a big mess_

_But when I told my Clanmates about my powers_

_Tiger told that he overheard, and I see he's no delicate flower_

_He's a ShadowClan cat and a Dark Forest warrior_

_Not my mate, not my love, he makes me so much warier_

_Of my surroundings, of my past, so I break up with him_

_I'm loyal to my Clan, to the Three, he's just a sin_

_But when I fight in the battle, I see Tiger fighting for the clans_

_He tells me he spied like Ivy, because he's a good man_

_I'm relieved, I can love him, he's not evil after all_

_Ivy was wrong, I was right, it would be a victory for us all!_

_Firestar's on his last life, but he still fights Tigerstar_

_The evil tom is defeated, and Firestar goes up in a spark_

_Of lightning when it strikes and causes flames_

_He was a true warrior and his spirit will be among the many names_

_That died for their clans, the good cats that they are_

_Of course, when I die, I'll get my own star_

_Because I'm the best of the best_

_Obviously better than the rest_

_The battle's won and done, so I lost my powers, oh no!_

_I'm 'normal', I'm not a pro_

_There's a new prophecy, not concerning me_

_How could StarClan do this! They can't possibly_

_Forget about Dovewing, better than the rest_

_I know I should've been the leader all after this_

_I saved the clans' tails from destruction and darkness_

_How do they repay me? With nothing, they're so heartless_

_On top of that, I think Tiger hates me now_

_He hisses at me, I refuse to bow_

_And pretend I don't love him_

_I'm not that dim_

_When ShadowClan comes to live with us_

_He becomes cuddly and warm and I know I must_

_Be with him, make him my mate_

_Until Bumble hits on me, I know him I hate_

_I can't stand his clumsy compliments_

_Tiger's much better, he's not incompetent  
_

_I'm carrying his kits, I have to leave_

_Because of nightmares, I can't be pleased_

_He doesn't want to leave, so I leave on my own_

_I'm strong by myself, but I'm no longer alone_

_Because he finally catches up to me_

_I'm with the guardian cats, I'm finally free_

_I give birth to Shadow, Pounce, and Light_

_They're all so adorable, they always fight_

_Alright, I know, Lightkit is dark brown_

_Which is the opposite of her name, I can tell you have a frown_

_But only my opinion counts, so ha! I don't care_

_If you hate her name, I'll just go and give you a scare_

_Shadow knows everything_

_He's never been to the forest, but he's seen_

_Visions of the trees, and even Ivy_

_Who had her own kits, I want to see them now_

_And tell her that my kits are better than hers, but how_

_Did she get a mate that actually cares for her_

_Was it that sexy dark tom from the shadows that will deter_

_Everything she's worked for_

_Just for kits and more galore?_

_We travel back to the clans_

_Shadow tells us of the land_

_He describes the lake and the moor_

_And tells us that the clans aren't poor_

_In prey or water, they're fine, they're okay_

_I tell Tiger that I'll go to ShadowClan to stay_

_He becomes the next leader, I'm proud of him_

_I've got a leader for a mate! I'll never be grim_

_Because that will show Ivy how I'm so much better_

_'Cause I've got Tiger for a mate, and all she's got is a little feather_

_His name is Fernsong and he's kind and caring_

_I thought it would be Hawk, they could get drunk together on some Twoleg sherry_

_Just the type of thing they would do, but I keep my mouth shut_

_But I tell her I'm going to live with ShadowClan, she's says, "Stay with us..."_

_I'm really surprised, I know I wouldn't miss her at all_

_But she's going to miss me? Wow, I'm probably still hotter than a fireball_

_I'm living with my Tiger, but again I've gotta think_

_How I was the best of the three, even the others had a few chinks_

_Jay is being shipped with a stick_

_That stupid stick is bigger than his prick_

_Lion really wanted Cinderheart_

_But I know why she wouldn't take him, he'd always fart_

_When he slept in the warriors' den all night_

_It's a wonder she finally accepted him and they never had a fight_

_You know, let's include Firestar_

_He broke the code so many times, no wonder he has so many scars_

_And how ironic is it that he was killed by fire_

_I guess his name didn't like being plastered on a liar_

_He chose the one who hates him for his mate_

_Had two lying daughters, that's just great_

_Those daughters had med cats for their kits_

_Spottedleaf wants a destiny through them, instead of having fits_

_About how Fire rejected her and she went up to StarClan_

_Without him, her love, the one who was supposed to be her man_

_Now you see how imperfectly_

_The others behaved...what about me?_

_You don't have to say it, I know you love Dovewing_

_Well, thanks everyone, and bye-bye kitties!_

**Possibly the cringiest thing ever. Tell me if it's crap or not in the comments!**


End file.
